While able-bodied people often wonder if a wheelchair diminishes sex, those of us in a wheelchair know differently. Sex in your wheelchair can be everything and anything you might desire from sex: passionate, intimate, rough, silly, kinky, spontaneous… the list is as varied as your desires. And there are a lot of possibilities. If you’re looking to expand your bedroom repertoire, here are a few suggestions for sex in your wheelchair that you might not have thought of—as well as a few ways to introduce toys to take sex in your chair to the next level.
People might assume that a wheelchair limits the positioning options for sex, but the range of positions you can attempt in a wheelchair is delightfully long. Start by exploring some of the classics—most can work perfectly well in a wheelchair with just slight adaptations.
This classic takes on a new level of intensity when your partner can bounce on you with the added stability of your chair. Your partner can position themselves on your lap, facing forward, with their feet and legs tucked under them, into the seat of the chair around your legs. With your brakes on your partner can use the support of the wheels to ride you—gentle or rough.
Sometimes also called “The Lap Dance,” this position is great for slowly building to an enormous climax. Have your partner sit on your lap and wrap their legs around your waist, with their feet on the wheels or tangled around the back of the chair. This is a wonderful position for deeper penetration and it fosters a real sense of intimacy as the sex is face-to-face, chest-to-chest, belly-to-belly.
Your partner stands in front of your chair as they would if you were sitting on the edge of a bed, and then lifts your legs up and rests them on their shoulders. This position is fantastic for deep penetration and g-spot stimulation. If you back your chair up near a door or wall, you can get that authentic banging-into-the-headboard experience (but maybe bring a pillow too, eh?).
Your partner, facing forward and with their hands planted on the ground or a footrest, positions their pelvis over your lap and wraps their legs behind the back of your chair. Guide yourself into your partner by gripping their hips and cheeks, controlling their motion.
A wheelchair is a fantastic spot for oral sex, offering comfort for you and easy access for your partner. Rest your legs over both sides of your chair and move your hips to the edge of the seat. In this position your legs will remain spread wide, giving your partner the ability to explore and play wherever their mouth desires.
Move to the edge of your chair and have your partner sit on your lap, with their legs and feet over yours. Your partner can use the armrests or wheels for support, and control the angle, speed, and depth of your sex.
Positioning aids can make both classic and more exotic sexual positions more stable and accessible during wheelchair sex, and even help you think up new options. A doggie-style strap can be used for a variety of wheelchair positioning needs. In the Face-Off example above—where your partner has wrapped their legs around your waist and the back of the chair—you can use the strap to help guide your partner’s rhythm as they grind into you. It could also provide a sturdier handhold for the Seated Wheelbarrow. A sex sling will make the Shoulder Holder position much easier because it will help keep your legs in place against your partner’s shoulders. You can easily wrap the sling around your neck or the back of your chair.
And speaking of wrapping things around your chair...
Beyond positioning aids, restraints and other toys can give you even more options for positions and wheelchair sex activities. The right toy will let you play with your partner (and they with you), and can be useful if you have difficulty controlling your hands or legs (or if you can find it a challenge to hold your hands or legs in one position).
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Like any disability or lasting change to our body, amputation and limb loss can lead to honest doubts and uncertainties. Those concerns range from the small to the significant, and extend to every corner of life. It’s natural to wonder about the effect on sex and intimate partnerships. While limb loss and amputation may require adaptations and modifications to your intimacy, it should not diminish the quality, vibrancy, and satisfaction of your sex life.
Sex is for everyone. The physical pleasure and intimacy that comes from our tightest bonds is one of the great gifts of being human, and we celebrate all body types. That includes plus size, a significant segment of our population, but one to whom sex advertising seems to avoid.
Well, we reject that. While there can be certain considerations to account for with plus-sized sex, they can be easily handled with patience, understanding, a sense of humor and adventure, and the right equipment.