Even though it has become a more commonplace topic than in the past, talking about erectile dysfunction is undeniably difficult. Living with it? Even more so. Many guys, understandably, feel that some portion of their masculinity is tied to their sexual performance. And so experiencing difficulty with erections can turn into both a physical and mental struggle. But listen: You might feel that your masculinity is tied to your erection, but it isn’t. Erectile dysfunction does not lessen you as a man or mean that you have failed your partner.
It is a far more common problem than you might think. Nearly all men have difficulty with erections on occasion, and as many as 30 million men experience symptoms of erectile dysfunction. Erectile issues stem from a very long list of causes, and effect young and older men alike. So we think it just makes sense for guys to have some ideas for how you will enjoy sex even if you experience difficulty with your erection. ED shouldn’t—and won’t—stop you from having great sexual experiences with your partner.
There are a number of ways to deal with erectile dysfunction, and the most familiar solutions are the ones often advertised on TV—pills or pumps or injections. And while these can be effective for many men, they may not be an option for everyone. You may be looking for a different way to have fulfilling sexual experiences with erectile dysfunction. And a great place to turn is to sex toys.
We mention communication often in this blog (and for good reason!), but it’s particularly important to talk about erectile issues. It’s also, of course, particularly difficult to do so. Even though the subject is more public than it used to be, we still understand that erection trouble and erectile dysfunction can be acutely psychologically painful. That’s why the symptoms of erectile dysfunction include the depression and anxiety that can accompany trouble getting or maintaining an erection. It can feel so cyclical, right? The stress and worry about getting an erection makes it all that much more difficult to actually happen, and then the feelings of disappointment fuel the next round of anxiety.
While there’s no ‘quick fix’ for breaking that cycle, discussion that leads to positive, fulfilling sexual experiences (erections not required!) is a good start. Sex with erectile dysfunction may be a sensitive topic to some, but it’s a necessary discussion between partners who want to remain intimate and sexual. Here are some things to keep in mind for both partners:
When it comes to toys and aids, there’s a variety of options for erection troubles. Some toys will help you maintain and strengthen your erection. Others can simulate an erection for you during sex. And there are other toys still that will help you and your partner stoke intimacy and have fulfilling sexual experiences outside of intercourse.
But there are other paths to sex and intimacy with ED that don’t require a strap-on or involve the penis at all. For couples willing to reimagine what intercourse can look like, there are plenty of toys and activities for stimulating, passionate sex.
We know that erectile dysfunction can make you feel isolated and lacking in options, but by now we also hope you are starting to see that issues with erections shouldn’t keep you and your partner from amazing sex. Your erection is only one component of sex and, more than that, only one aspect of your sexual identity. Planning and a healthy dialogue with your partner will help you see that there are products out there to help you strengthen your erection, aids which can replicate an erection, and toys which can help you enjoy sex beyond penetration. However you approach sex with ED, work every day towards doing so with less shame, less anxiety, and more confidence—satisfying sex is still very much a part of your life.
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You never forget your first time, but most people don’t remember their second. And this isn’t just about sex (although, really, it’s mostly about sex). You probably don’t remember your second day at a job, second car, second date...
Unless something spectacular happens at one of them (like if the second date is the first time), your second everything is usually the first step toward forgetfulness. It’s where things start to blend in. That’s just human nature.
We’re happy to report, though, that sex toys are the exception to the rule.
Even without kids, it can be hard for married couples sometimes to break the routine and try something new in bed. Not everyone is going to check into a sex dungeon for the weekend, or turn their apartment into a Den of Erotic Mysteries. But the alternative to that isn’t another night of bickering about what to watch on Netflix.
Married couples want to break the routine and begin to experiment, without having to rearrange their lives. Routine breaking can be easily done, sparking passion, making every day a little better, and maybe leading to more adventures together in the bedroom.
You don’t need a dungeon. You just need these six best toys to spice up sex for married couples.